Hey all. Sorry about not keeping my blog super up-to-date. My free time is rather limited over here in Manila. Anyways, I’ve got some new stories for you, so here they are…
The week before Sheila got here Shane, Kurtis, Natalie and I went to a few bars. We were at a nice little bar with a lounge area upstairs which was air conditioned, so we spent most of our time there. There was an Australian and an Irish guy there too, sharing the same table as us. The Aussie was all drunk and belligerent, and even tried to freestyle rap to us… I’d rather listen to a kitten getting stepped on than have to sit through that again. Anyways, at one point we think the Irishman told the Aussie to leave because he was too drunk, and the Aussie freaked out. He started screaming and yelling, and then he kicked the table, spilling drinks all over us. Kurtis, who was right beside him, immediately stood up. When the guy kicked the table again, which caused Nat to get hit by a beer bottle and a lit cigarette; Kurtis grabbed the guy, threw him up against the wall and punched him in the face. The Irishman stood up, so Shane and I got ready to help Kurtis out, but it turns out he was just trying to get his stupid friend out of the bar before Kurtis broke his face. Five minutes later the bouncers came up to talk to us. We thought they were coming up to kick us out, but then they apologized profusely to us for the inconvenience and thanked Kurtis for dealing with the problem. We then had several tequila shots. That was fun. Now, whenever I tell the story to someone, I start it off with, "So, a Canadian, and Irishman, and an Australian walk into a bar."
Oh, and good news! The traffic problems cleared up and everyone is now obeying all the rules of the road. Oh wait… no… no… that didn’t happen at all. I swear, the only person I know who would actually enjoy driving in this crap would be Andrew. The reason is because it’s truly a “first come, first served” type of mentality. Cars get so damn close to each other, but rarely collide; because everyone knows that if you get there first, you had the right of way. That includes turning out in front of a speeding bus. They’ll just slow right down so they don’t hit you, or quickly check their side view mirror and swerve into the next lane to avoid slowing down. Honking here doesn’t mean road rage… it’s just a way of telling someone that you’re there so they can avoid hitting you.
On the weekend before Sheila arrived here, we went to a little place called Tagatay. There is a volcano there, which is notorious for having almost a perfectly shaped cone-like crater. The view of the volcano from a distance was quite breathtaking (see pics on the GD gallery). We grabbed some beer and took a boat across the small lake to the island where the volcano stands. There is a small village along the shore where we docked with tons of running and playing children. Of course, five honkies and a 7 foot tall black dude stepping off a boat and into their village took some of the villagers by surprise. People gathered around us and just stared. Until I screamed “BOOO!” and they all scattered to the wind. Just kidding.
Anyways, they arranged for us to mount these waif thin malnourished ponies and head on up the volcano side. I was convinced I’d soon be hearing that pony’s death rattle. It was panting like some furry-ass dog that just ran a mile in the desert. It was truly pathetic. Imagine Gary’s puny pony holding up his 300+ pounds as it dragged both their asses up that steep ass hill. Tough little mutt. Kurtis’ “horse” was whinnying all the way up the volcano side, so he asked the guide if he should dismount and the guide responded by telling Kurtis that the pony was happy and the whinnying was the sound of the pony laughing. I wasn’t convinced.
So we got to the top, finally, and had a look at the scenery. It was so amazing. The volcano crater has a small lake inside it that bubbles from the heat. Very cool. We even saw sheep grazing around the lake. It truly was quite a nifty experience.
We chose to walk back down the hill. When I told my guide I’d be walking back down to help save the pony’s miserable life, he said ok, then hopped on the pony and took off down the mountain side. What a putz!
So when we got back to the little resort on the other side of the lake, we sat down for a rest and a few people cleaned up. There were three young girls in a pool wearing bikinis, laughing and splashing. One of them was wearing only a thin yellow t-shirt, so you could clearly see her funbags. I’m not saying the girls were super hot or anything, but it was definitely attention grabbing, so it’s hard to ignore. We then get informed that all three of the girls are actually guys who became girls! This, of course, only made us look at them more. So strange, it was. Definitely a testament to the caliber of plastic surgery they have available here in the Philippines. *shudder*
The next big event was Sheila arriving, which was definitely a relief. I can’t say I was super comfortable with the thought of Sheila traveling halfway across the earth all alone, but she managed just fine on her own. Two days after she got here we surprised her with a trip to Boracay Island. If you’ve never heard of it, I’d suggest looking it up online. It’s a place close to here with world renowned beaches. It’s said to be one of the top five beaches on the planet. So we just had to go, you know?
So Shane, Kurtis, Natlie, Sheila and I left early Saturday morning to catch an hour flight to a place called Caticlan, then a short boat trip to Boracay Island. What a beautiful beach they have there… it’s called White Beach. It’s not just a clever name; they named it after the white sand it has. This sand doesn’t hold the heat of the sun like the regular sand I’m used to, so you can just traipse around in bare feet on the hottest of hot days and not burn your feet off. That’s pretty cool. You know what’s not cool, though? Everywhere you go there are merchants wandering around trying desperately to sell you watches, pearls, bootlegged DVDs, sunglasses… you name it. It gets really old, really fast. The restaurants and bars there are pretty neat. Most have a designated area out front of their place on the beach where you can sit at a table and dine. We got pretty drunk the first night there and danced our asses off to house at a cool bar… I forget the name of it. Tequila shots and San Migs, round after round. That night some random dog just started following us around (see pics)… we named him Heiko, because when I asked him his name, he coughed up something and made a sound that sounded like “Heiko”.
The next day we rented dirt bikes to go touring around the island. It was so damn funny… image me, sitting on my bike just before we’re about to take off for the first time, and Shane, sitting on his bike, just rockets off down the narrow lane and immediately wipes out. Don’t worry; he escaped with only a skinned knee, but oh my God, so funny. I’m laughing about it right now as I type, because it was just that comical. It kept popping back into my mind all weekend and I would just burst out laughing, out of nowhere. I hope I never forget that image for the rest of my life. Anyways, we headed straight for the “Bat Cave”. No, I know what you’re thinking nerds… it wasn’t Batman’s… it was an actual cave home to many thousands of bats. Sheila and Nat didn’t go down into it, for obvious reasons, but Shane, Kurtis and I were brave/dumb enough to go for it. Hey, Carpe Diem, right? When in Rome?
We descended a steep, rocky, guano-coated slope into the dark cave; bats screaming overhead the whole while (see pics that look dark but you can see the glowing eyes). At the bottom, there was water, an underground lake perhaps. It went off into the distance under a lowing hanging rock face, and it seemed to emanate light from somewhere deep under the water. It was so neat. There were even fish swimming around and big fat crabs walking over the rocks.
Next we headed to a secluded beach area to go swimming and wash all the guano off. We got snorkels and masks and started to snorkel around, until mini jellyfish started stinging us all over, so we ended that in a hurry. It was only as bad as a mosquito bite, but enough to make us want to not get stung anymore. So we bought our way onto a boat and had the driver take us to a spot further out so we could really snorkel. He was taking us to a place called Crocodile Island, but that was too far away, so we had him just stop somewhere out in the water and just let us swim around there (well, he had to drive the boat a bit closer to the shore from where we were, because there may have been sharks near by). When we got out and started to explore, it was the most amazing thing. Just like on the Discovery Channel; there was coral and schools of tropical fish everywhere, starfish, etc. Kurtis took a starfish as a souvenir, even though I put up my normal Sean-fuss about nonsensically murdering wildlife.
Snorkeling has rocketed to the top of my “best things to do in the world” list. If you haven’t tried it, I suggest planning your next vacation with snorkeling in mind. You float so easily in salt water that your back is exposed to the sun for a lengthy period of time, so you can imagine how bad our backs got burnt. Oh well… when in Rome…
We hit this cool-ass Indian restaurant later that day in which you have to sit on the floor on all these lush pillows around a low table. The food was fabulous. I never liked curry before, but I think that was just because the one and only curry dish I had at Kelsey’s years and years ago was completely offensive to my sense of smell and taste, so I forever associated that with Indian food, but that’s not the case at all.
When we got back we checked out this place called Green Hills. It’s like a flea market type place with a lot of clothes and such. I’ve been there a few times now and have purchased quite a few things there. I will have to show you all my new Gucci watch and Gorgio Armani jackets when I get home. Yeah, that’s right, I’m rich. Believe me, they’re all real, guaranteed*!
*Not a guarantee.
Anyways, that’s it for now. Sorry about the length, but I just thought I’d be as detailed as possible, to keep you all adequately informed on what we’ve been up to here in the Philippines.
Cheers!
Sean
