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Thursday, September 22, 2005
They have rice at every single restaurant here. Rice at Wendy's, rice at KFC, rice at McDonalds. They also have McSpeghetti. And they don't call it McDonalds... they call it McDo. No, not pronounced "Mick Doo"... that's what I thought originally too. It's "Mack Doe", with a very sharp emphasis on the last syllable. Crazy Asians...
Yesterday we made poutine for some of the locals here... to give them a good taste of Canada. You know what I ate in return? Peanut Butter Stew. You know what was in it? Yeah, besides peanut butter. Guess. Nope, you're wrong! It was cow stomach lining. Big old pieces of cow tummy. It's a damn good thing I only had two helpings. Crazy Asians...
What other foods do they have? BBQ'd chick feet, popularly known as Adidas. They also take pig intestines and feed them over a stick, like a sock to one's foot, then BBQ them. Then there's Sisig. Sheila and I both tried this delicacy. It's ground up pork head with pig brain sauce. I, of course, had no idea that's what it was when I tried it. I felt a little sick after... but maybe that was the tequila. Either way, the important thing is Sheila threw it all back up in the cab on the way back to the hotel. Good times.
They actually eat balut here. That's the partially developed duck or chicken egg they make people eat on Fear Factor and Survivor. Most people like it, too. Everyone wants me to try it before I leave, but there is no way in hell. There's this little both in the mall where I work called Balut Eggspress, and what they do there, besides serve balut, is take day old chicks, skewer them, then deep fry the whole thing. That place stinks.
Hungry now?
Posted at Thursday, September 22, 2005 by shizon
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Dis country ish bawkwords!!
I've noticed several strange/interesting/different/weird/unique things about people here in The Philippines. For instance, their names. I've heard of, met and/or spoken with people sporting the one of the following names:
- Chips (male)
- Burn (male)
- Glorious (male)
- Timboy (male)
- Nips (female)
- Din-Din (female)
- Bong (male)
- Bimbo (male)
- Irish (female)
- Lord Vincent (male)
- Ow (female)
- Wowie (female)
- Lovely (female)
- Hallelujah Joy (male)
- Horny (male)
And I'm not kidding about any of those names!
Another really interesting (and often annoying) thing about some of the people here is that they are ignorant of many of the social niceties that us Canadian's are used to. Not everyone... and not all the time... but if you are at a mall or something, people will elbow through you like nothing to get ahead of you. And we're talking just to make it onto the escalator one full step ahead of you! I think that kind of behaviour is adopted from how everyone drives here. "Get the hell outta my way... I was first!"
No one seems to wait two full seconds for you to exit the elevator before they elbow, barge, bite and nash their way onto the elevator, pushing you all the way to the back. That can get rather frustrating at times. Also something that seems to happen at all the malls when you enter a store just to look around, you've got AT LEAST one store employee clued to your side the whole damn time you're in the store. No matter how many times you say, "I'm fine. I'm just looking around." They never go away... like herpes. After a while, it really makes you pissed off. I mean, I know they think they are being helpful by being available to you, but holy shit man... back off and let me have a look around! Arrrgggghhhh!!
The people who work at the hotel we're staying at are TOO DAMN FRIENDLY!! "Good morning, Sir!", "How are you, Sir?", "Clean your room, Sir?", "Let me get that door for you, Sir!", "Let me push the elevatator button for you, Sir!"... I'm not kidding... it's gets to you after a while. I can open my own damn door and I can certainly press the elevator button all by my lonesome. And here's how it gets excessive... they actually pay someone to stand by the elevators ALL DAY LONG and press the "up" button whenever someone approaches. He doesn't go onto the elevator with you and take you to your floor, like on the TV, but he gets that button pressed for you, that's for damn sure! And when the elevator door opens, he makes sure it stays open for you to get on safe and sound... and he does this with gusto! I shit you not, I've actually been cut off and shoved out of the way by the guy as he scrambled to the door to HOLD IT OPEN FOR ME!!! I was going to make it through the door and safely onto the elevator WAY before him, but he just had to get me the hell out of the way so he could hold that door open for me. How messed up is that?!
Anyways, I'm done ranting for now...
Posted at Wednesday, September 21, 2005 by shizon
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Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Trip to Corregidor Island
Well, still in Manila. My return date is still set for September 24th. There is still a small chance that my trip may be extended, but so far I think I'm pretty safe. I'm looking forward to coming back too... it's been along time away from home.
We've seen and done some really cool stuff here, culturally speaking. Just recently we took a tour of Corregidor Island. It was quite amazing! This little island saw many brutal battles throughout WWII and even before that during the "Battle of Manila Bay" in 1898 during the American-Spanish war when an American squadron destroyed the entire Spanish fleet within a few hours. Metal warships vs. wooden boats... you know how it is.
During WWII the Philippines was highly regarded and sought after by both sides of the war due to its perfect strategic positioning within the South China Sea. The American's had military bases in the Philippines; one of which was on Corregidor Island. The island itself is actually in quite a strategic position too, located at the mouth of Manila Bay, just south of the city of Manila. On December 7th, 1941, Japan attacked Pearl Harbor in Hawaii which prompted the American's to declare war on Japan. Ten hours after the attack of Pearl Harbor, Japan attacked the American military bases in the Philippines, including the one on Corregidor Island. The Japanese then invaded the Philippines and began to fight their way across the country toward Manila.
American General Douglas MacArthur along with several thousand American and Filipino troops were already stationed in and around Manila at this time. The Philippines President Quezon and General MacArthur declared Manila an open city and retreated to Bataan and Corregidor. The Japanese bombed Manila anyways. This began the Japanese occupation of Manila. The battle raged on as the Japanese advanced on MacArthur's troops in Bataan. The Americans and Filipinos retreated down the Bataan Peninsula as the battle continued. MacArthur himself ended up retreating from Corregidor to Australia so he could command his army from a safe location. When he arrived in Australia, he was quoted to say is most famous line, "I shall return."
The Americans and Filipinos fought very hard on Bataan and Corregidor as they awaited American reinforcement, which would never come due to the very recent devastation of Pearl Harbor. Being totally surrounded, the American and Filipino troops eventually surrendered to the Japanese on April 9th, 1942. Because so many American and Filipino troops surrendered, the Japanese were ill-prepared to deal with that many prisoners, so they led their sick and starving captives on a cruel and criminal 105 KM march, labeled the "Bataan Death March" on which 7-10,000 died or were murdered before arriving at the internment camps ten days later. Check out the movie The Great Raid. It's movie made in 2005 based on true occurrences about the amazing rescue of these prisoners of war. It's a pretty good movie, in my opinion... and I must say it was pretty cool watching it here in the Philippines... paying only $3 to watch it in a kick-ass theatre that makes Silver City look like Rainbow Cinemas.
Anyways, about three years later MacArthur returned to The Philippines, true to his word. His troops laid some serious smack down on the Japanese and took back Manila, fighting street by street. The battle ended in the walled city of Intramuros, which is like Old Manila. Sheila and I plan to visit Intramuros this weekend and get some pics.
So, with Manila back under American Military occupation instead of Japanese, the Americans moved toward Bataan and Corregidor, spanking the Japanese the whole way. Since the Japanese believed that surrender was weak and cowardly, and they knew the end was coming, many of them took out their bayonets, stabbed themselves in the stomach and jumped off a cliff located on Corregidor Island. It is now dubbed "Suicide Cliff". The Americans took Corregidor back by attacking it by sea and at the same time sending paratroopers in for a day time suicide jump onto the middle of the island. They actually jumped from only 300 feet up, if you can believe that, because any higher and the wind would have blown them out to sea. That's just amazing.
Anyways, We took a day trip out to Corregidor Island and got some pretty cool pics. It was quite a unique experience, to say the least. There is supposed to be monkeys on the island, but we didn't see any. And I was really hoping some ballsy monkey would nail me in the side of the head with a hunk is his own dung, but no luck. :-)
Well, that's it for now. 25 more days and counting...
Posted at Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by shizon
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Saturday, June 04, 2005
Hey all. Sorry about not keeping my blog super up-to-date. My free time is rather limited over here in Manila. Anyways, I’ve got some new stories for you, so here they are…
The week before Sheila got here Shane, Kurtis, Natalie and I went to a few bars. We were at a nice little bar with a lounge area upstairs which was air conditioned, so we spent most of our time there. There was an Australian and an Irish guy there too, sharing the same table as us. The Aussie was all drunk and belligerent, and even tried to freestyle rap to us… I’d rather listen to a kitten getting stepped on than have to sit through that again. Anyways, at one point we think the Irishman told the Aussie to leave because he was too drunk, and the Aussie freaked out. He started screaming and yelling, and then he kicked the table, spilling drinks all over us. Kurtis, who was right beside him, immediately stood up. When the guy kicked the table again, which caused Nat to get hit by a beer bottle and a lit cigarette; Kurtis grabbed the guy, threw him up against the wall and punched him in the face. The Irishman stood up, so Shane and I got ready to help Kurtis out, but it turns out he was just trying to get his stupid friend out of the bar before Kurtis broke his face. Five minutes later the bouncers came up to talk to us. We thought they were coming up to kick us out, but then they apologized profusely to us for the inconvenience and thanked Kurtis for dealing with the problem. We then had several tequila shots. That was fun. Now, whenever I tell the story to someone, I start it off with, "So, a Canadian, and Irishman, and an Australian walk into a bar."
Oh, and good news! The traffic problems cleared up and everyone is now obeying all the rules of the road. Oh wait… no… no… that didn’t happen at all. I swear, the only person I know who would actually enjoy driving in this crap would be Andrew. The reason is because it’s truly a “first come, first served” type of mentality. Cars get so damn close to each other, but rarely collide; because everyone knows that if you get there first, you had the right of way. That includes turning out in front of a speeding bus. They’ll just slow right down so they don’t hit you, or quickly check their side view mirror and swerve into the next lane to avoid slowing down. Honking here doesn’t mean road rage… it’s just a way of telling someone that you’re there so they can avoid hitting you.
On the weekend before Sheila arrived here, we went to a little place called Tagatay. There is a volcano there, which is notorious for having almost a perfectly shaped cone-like crater. The view of the volcano from a distance was quite breathtaking (see pics on the GD gallery). We grabbed some beer and took a boat across the small lake to the island where the volcano stands. There is a small village along the shore where we docked with tons of running and playing children. Of course, five honkies and a 7 foot tall black dude stepping off a boat and into their village took some of the villagers by surprise. People gathered around us and just stared. Until I screamed “BOOO!” and they all scattered to the wind. Just kidding.
Anyways, they arranged for us to mount these waif thin malnourished ponies and head on up the volcano side. I was convinced I’d soon be hearing that pony’s death rattle. It was panting like some furry-ass dog that just ran a mile in the desert. It was truly pathetic. Imagine Gary’s puny pony holding up his 300+ pounds as it dragged both their asses up that steep ass hill. Tough little mutt. Kurtis’ “horse” was whinnying all the way up the volcano side, so he asked the guide if he should dismount and the guide responded by telling Kurtis that the pony was happy and the whinnying was the sound of the pony laughing. I wasn’t convinced.
So we got to the top, finally, and had a look at the scenery. It was so amazing. The volcano crater has a small lake inside it that bubbles from the heat. Very cool. We even saw sheep grazing around the lake. It truly was quite a nifty experience.
We chose to walk back down the hill. When I told my guide I’d be walking back down to help save the pony’s miserable life, he said ok, then hopped on the pony and took off down the mountain side. What a putz!
So when we got back to the little resort on the other side of the lake, we sat down for a rest and a few people cleaned up. There were three young girls in a pool wearing bikinis, laughing and splashing. One of them was wearing only a thin yellow t-shirt, so you could clearly see her funbags. I’m not saying the girls were super hot or anything, but it was definitely attention grabbing, so it’s hard to ignore. We then get informed that all three of the girls are actually guys who became girls! This, of course, only made us look at them more. So strange, it was. Definitely a testament to the caliber of plastic surgery they have available here in the Philippines. *shudder*
The next big event was Sheila arriving, which was definitely a relief. I can’t say I was super comfortable with the thought of Sheila traveling halfway across the earth all alone, but she managed just fine on her own. Two days after she got here we surprised her with a trip to Boracay Island. If you’ve never heard of it, I’d suggest looking it up online. It’s a place close to here with world renowned beaches. It’s said to be one of the top five beaches on the planet. So we just had to go, you know?
So Shane, Kurtis, Natlie, Sheila and I left early Saturday morning to catch an hour flight to a place called Caticlan, then a short boat trip to Boracay Island. What a beautiful beach they have there… it’s called White Beach. It’s not just a clever name; they named it after the white sand it has. This sand doesn’t hold the heat of the sun like the regular sand I’m used to, so you can just traipse around in bare feet on the hottest of hot days and not burn your feet off. That’s pretty cool. You know what’s not cool, though? Everywhere you go there are merchants wandering around trying desperately to sell you watches, pearls, bootlegged DVDs, sunglasses… you name it. It gets really old, really fast. The restaurants and bars there are pretty neat. Most have a designated area out front of their place on the beach where you can sit at a table and dine. We got pretty drunk the first night there and danced our asses off to house at a cool bar… I forget the name of it. Tequila shots and San Migs, round after round. That night some random dog just started following us around (see pics)… we named him Heiko, because when I asked him his name, he coughed up something and made a sound that sounded like “Heiko”.
The next day we rented dirt bikes to go touring around the island. It was so damn funny… image me, sitting on my bike just before we’re about to take off for the first time, and Shane, sitting on his bike, just rockets off down the narrow lane and immediately wipes out. Don’t worry; he escaped with only a skinned knee, but oh my God, so funny. I’m laughing about it right now as I type, because it was just that comical. It kept popping back into my mind all weekend and I would just burst out laughing, out of nowhere. I hope I never forget that image for the rest of my life. Anyways, we headed straight for the “Bat Cave”. No, I know what you’re thinking nerds… it wasn’t Batman’s… it was an actual cave home to many thousands of bats. Sheila and Nat didn’t go down into it, for obvious reasons, but Shane, Kurtis and I were brave/dumb enough to go for it. Hey, Carpe Diem, right? When in Rome?
We descended a steep, rocky, guano-coated slope into the dark cave; bats screaming overhead the whole while (see pics that look dark but you can see the glowing eyes). At the bottom, there was water, an underground lake perhaps. It went off into the distance under a lowing hanging rock face, and it seemed to emanate light from somewhere deep under the water. It was so neat. There were even fish swimming around and big fat crabs walking over the rocks.
Next we headed to a secluded beach area to go swimming and wash all the guano off. We got snorkels and masks and started to snorkel around, until mini jellyfish started stinging us all over, so we ended that in a hurry. It was only as bad as a mosquito bite, but enough to make us want to not get stung anymore. So we bought our way onto a boat and had the driver take us to a spot further out so we could really snorkel. He was taking us to a place called Crocodile Island, but that was too far away, so we had him just stop somewhere out in the water and just let us swim around there (well, he had to drive the boat a bit closer to the shore from where we were, because there may have been sharks near by). When we got out and started to explore, it was the most amazing thing. Just like on the Discovery Channel; there was coral and schools of tropical fish everywhere, starfish, etc. Kurtis took a starfish as a souvenir, even though I put up my normal Sean-fuss about nonsensically murdering wildlife.
Snorkeling has rocketed to the top of my “best things to do in the world” list. If you haven’t tried it, I suggest planning your next vacation with snorkeling in mind. You float so easily in salt water that your back is exposed to the sun for a lengthy period of time, so you can imagine how bad our backs got burnt. Oh well… when in Rome…
We hit this cool-ass Indian restaurant later that day in which you have to sit on the floor on all these lush pillows around a low table. The food was fabulous. I never liked curry before, but I think that was just because the one and only curry dish I had at Kelsey’s years and years ago was completely offensive to my sense of smell and taste, so I forever associated that with Indian food, but that’s not the case at all.
When we got back we checked out this place called Green Hills. It’s like a flea market type place with a lot of clothes and such. I’ve been there a few times now and have purchased quite a few things there. I will have to show you all my new Gucci watch and Gorgio Armani jackets when I get home. Yeah, that’s right, I’m rich. Believe me, they’re all real, guaranteed*!
*Not a guarantee.
Anyways, that’s it for now. Sorry about the length, but I just thought I’d be as detailed as possible, to keep you all adequately informed on what we’ve been up to here in the Philippines.
Cheers!
Sean
Posted at Saturday, June 04, 2005 by shizon
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Saturday, May 14, 2005
Well, I'm here in Manila, Philippines. My stay will be approximately 4 1/2 months. I (possibly) return on September 24, 2005. I've been here only four days or so, and two words come to mind when I reflect upon my experiences here so far: culture shock.
First of all, the heat is remarkable. So much so, that I shall remark upon it. Once I hit the airport in Manila, I remember thinking to myself just how hot and humid it was... but what I didn't realize was that the airport was thoroughly air conditioned. I realized this once I stepped foot outside the airport doors. A wave of thick, humid heat hit me like a ton of bricks to the groin. Instant sweat droplets emerged from all my pores. I can honestly say that I had no expectation of how truly and powerfully the temperature would be that overwhelming. Alas, this was not the only shocking thing about Manila, and it's something that even a Canadian like me could easily adjust to.
Once leaving the airport, we hailed a cab to take us to the hotel Shangri La. We did this because our company driver was not there to pick us up, due to our incessant flight delays along the way, as well as the fact that my co-worker that I was traveling with had one of his luggage bags lost along the way somewhere. There was luggage claim forms to be filled out etc, which added to the already inconvenient delays. The cab ride to the hotel only verified the rumors we had already heard about the traffic being crazy here. The traffic isn't just crazy... it's insane. Not only are there minimal traffic lights at intersections, including the major ones, but the roads often have three or fours lanes, indicated by the painted white lines, but by no means do those lines exude any kind of authority. So far as I can tell, these are merely "suggested lines of transport". Really, it's nothing but hundreds of thousands of cars, motorcycles, jeepnies, SUV's, etc. jockeying for position. Horns just a honking. And the horns do not signify angry motorists pissed off at other crazy drivers... oh no... the horn says to other drivers, "Hey, I'm acomin' through, and if you continue what you're doing, we're going to smash into each other." or "The nose of my vehicle started to occupy this space first, so you better avoid hitting me." Nothing more than that. And keep in mind, this was at night that we were traveling to the hotel... at night when there is apparently, and I quote, "No traffic". During the day, it's ten times worse than that. Also, a lot of people on motorcycles (which is the most efficient way to travel, being able to maneuver in and out of congested areas with ease) are seldom wearing any kind of protective gear... like helmets. I shit you not, on the way to the hotel, I saw a guy riding a small motorcycle with no helmet on... his wife/girlfriend on the back (with no helmet) and a small child smushed between them... no helmet. Also, there are girls riding on the backs of motorcycles sidesaddle-style. I can only assume it's because they're wearing a skirt (which most were). It's truly amazing to see.
The poverty here is quite a shock as well. On the way to work, we travel through a very run down area of town. Our company ride is pretty sweet: a silver SUV with leather seats and tinted windows... but I don't even think I can properly express properly just how poverty stricken it is using mere words. It's not like one of those heart wrenching commercials with waif thin, malnourished children lying in a muddy street with flies setting up shop on their open eyeballs or anything... but poor nonetheless. It would be a severe understatement to call it substandard living conditions. Alas, I do work in one of the "ghetto" areas of Manila, so keep that in mind.
One other thing that's totally new to see is wild dogs just roaming the streets. Not like packs of vicious wolverines or anything, just random stray mangy dogs all over the place, standing in the middle of the road scratching at fleas and such. It's just weird to see, is all.
Also, something that would never happen in Canada, is Taho vendors. It may be Ta-Ho, or something like that, I dunno. Anyways, there's these vendors walking all over the city with a wooden board on their shoulders balancing two metal pails tied to either end of the board. In one pail there is softened, cold, almost liquefied (but not quite) tofu. In the other pail, there is small, clear tapioca balls and liquefied brown sugar. If you stop the vendor to purchase some of this "Taho", he'll put down the (probably not so sterile) buckets and scoop the tofu out to almost fill a plastic cup (provided by him). Then he'll scoop the tapioca and brown sugar on top of the tofu, then had it to you. You pay something equivalent to forty cents Canadian for this delight. It's quite filling, but the texture is something else. Picture, if you can, drinking a cup full of half-melted marshmallows soaking in a cup of sweetened liquid Cheese Whiz. It's not as bad as it sounds, but alas, I won't be purchasing any more Taho.
We took a trip to some of the other company sites this week on the way home from work (which is at least an hour drive - travel here is only measured by time, not distance, because of the extreme traffic conditions) and they were amazing. In a good area of town, right by the ocean, basketball and badminton courts provided, gates, security, palm trees... just an all around safe feeling being there. Our site has cockroaches outside in the smoking area. I've honestly never seen a cockroach before this week... and I peed my pants when I saw it. I swear I thought it was a rat or dog or something. Whenever I come across one, I've got the jumpies for the rest of the day... thinking that every little itch is a cockroach laying eggs in my skin.
Other than that, our hotel can be likened to an oasis of ice cold filtered, fresh water in the middle of the Sahara. It's so beautiful that I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that I'll be staying here for the next 4 1/2 months, at no cost to me. All I pay for is bottle after bottle of San Miguel Light's, a local beer brewed right here in Manila. It's like a Corona, only it costs the equivalent of fifty cents US. Can't get enough!
Our hotel is right next to two different malls: one is the biggest mall I've ever seen (called the Mega Mall), and the second is the second biggest mall I've ever seen! Only a few seconds walk from the front door of our hotel. Very cool. There isn't much else to do in Manila though, so far as we've heard from our Filipino counterparts. They can only suggest visiting someplace called Green Hills. If I visit there, I will be sure to write here about the experience, as it will no doubt be noteworthy!
One other cool thing is, you know how when it's really hot in Canada and you happen to be sitting pool side, and you get so hot you just want to jump into the pool, but you're mortified at the thought of how cold and shocking the temperature of the water will most likely be, so you hesitate. Here, you can be absolved of that fear. I just bake in the sun and jump into the luke warm pool without hesitation. I just love it.
I'll be sure to visit some of the local beaches and sites in the not-to-distant future, and I'll be sure to tell you all about it, in great detail.
Until then, cheers from Manila my friends!
shizon
Posted at Saturday, May 14, 2005 by shizon
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Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Blogs are for famous people who have fans that care about their every day thoughts. If you're not famous, and you don't have fans, it makes it difficult to believe that people really want to read about your day.
I often receive comments and remarks at how out-of-date my Blog constantly is. You know what this means? It means I'm famous and I have fans that love me. This makes me feel warm and cozy amongst my inards. So I just want to say to all my fans out there, I'm sorry for being so selfish. In the future I will make more of an effort to include you guys and gals in my life and every waking thought.
Speaking of "waking thoughts", here's a little something interesting I recently found out about myself. Something I wasn't previously aware of... my brain is utterly retarded once I wake up in the morning. Here's why...
I normally hit my snooze button for a good 45 minutes to an hour each morning. This has gone on for decades. This morning was no different. I was hitting that snooze every nine minutes, but something changed half way through my hour of snoozing. I hit the snooze button for the third time and stared at my clock for a brief moment thinking, "That's odd... I just hit this big button a few minutes ago, and now it's making noise again..."
I promptly disregarded my "crazy thoughts" and went back to sleep. Can you guess what happened next? That's right, a few minutes later the alarm went off again! I woke up, hit the snooze button, stared at the clock for a second and thought, "Wow... I wonder if this thing is going to keep going off until I drag my ass out of bed?" Then I went back to sleep.
Once again, less than ten minutes later the alarm goes off. This time I actually prop myself up on my elbow, inquisitively stare at the alarm clock while it's going off and think to myself, "Well I'll be damned... what a marvelous invention! This thing just keeps going off until I get up! I'll never be late for work again!"
How is it that someone as smart and famous as me can suddenly forget how alarm clocks help people wake up? I think sleeping hurts my brain somehow...
Posted at Tuesday, March 22, 2005 by shizon
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Tuesday, October 19, 2004
So, there I am at work yesterday, in my office. I drink a great deal of water throughout the day, so naturally I had to make some pee-pees. I get up and head to the washroom...
Now, allow me to interrupt the story for just a second to explain something. I don't work in zoo. I don't even work out doors at all. My workplace is not a construction site, nor is it a fraternity house. I work in a clean call centre with several hundred fellow employees. Ok, that being said, back to the story...
I'm on my way to the can and as I'm passing the vending machines I catch a whiff of something not-so-pleasant. For a brief second, I think (and hope) that it's just a coincidence that I smell stinky foulness and see something that looks remarkably like a half-melted Snickers bar on the floor by the lockers.
Now, you'd think that when one works in a clean office-type environment, one would be free roam about with absolutely no risk of stepping in human feces... but you'd be wrong. Thank the good Lord I saw it coming and skillfully avoided the steamy pile, but it looked as though someone else wasn't quite so lucky (or skillful), judging from the smear and all.
To the best of my knowledge, there are only a limited number of ways this type of thing could ever possibly happen:
1. Some crazy broad wearing a skirt whilst going commando just had too much herbal tea that morning
2. Some poor bastard wearing boxer shorts and baggy pants was desperately trying to make it to the toilet before his trouser-turtle made it all the way down his pant leg
3. Some jaded and disgruntled employee just dropped their pants right there in the hallway, squatted down and pinched an "I hate this fucking place" biscuit-loaf right on the floor.
That’s really all I can think of.
Posted at Tuesday, October 19, 2004 by shizon
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Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Golly gee, it's been a while!
Well, I haven't gone bloggin' in a while, and I'm starting to get harassed by some of my Andrew-Scarts, so I thought I would give it an update...
I've been watching alot of movies recently, because I'm broke. There's a good reason though... I paid for a trip to Las Vegas from my last pay cheque, so I've been suffering ever since. This Friday should bring me back out of my moderate financial funkiness. So far it'll be Adam, Trisha, Sheila and myself going to Vegas in November. We're staying at the Imperial Palace, which is right on the strip and consistantly receives good reviews from people that have stayed there, so I'm going to have to steal some towels or a mini-fridge from it... you know, as a keepsake. I'm looking forward to it, anyways. Gonna drink alot, play some holdem, win my very own hooker, and none of you will ever see me again. Brent, and possibly Chris & Anastasia, are going to come out for a day or two to party with us, Fear & Loathing style, so with any luck, we'll all end up in jail. If anyone wants to volunteer in advance to post our bail, please forward all applications to me, and I will pick the winner later this week.
Anyways, about those movies I watched... I will just name the movie and give my brief opinion of it, because I'm no critic:
- The Human Stain - not bad... in other words, I didn't hate it.
- Taking Lives - it kept me interested all throughout the movie, so it was ok.
- Foolproof - I liked it. It was recommended by Greg Robertson, and like him, I'm partial to heist movies, so it was lots of fun to watch... plus I think Ryan Reynolds is funny too, so there's a bonus.
- Ong-Bak - a Japanese action movie that Adam got... I rather liked it, mostly due to kick-ass (non-wire) stunts performed by the main character... very impressive!
- Collateral - It was good. I'd recommend viewing it... because it was good.
- Adaptation - I liked this movie quite a bit. I had a few small issues with it, but then again, not many movies are pure gold... so this one is a gem, definitely.
I can't think of any other movies I've watched recently, but I'm sure I'm missing some. I'll keep posting my mini-movie reviews, because it's hard to think of anything else to write about that's at least interesting to read.
Hey, poker is interesting! A few weeks ago Scott, Andrew, Adam, Craig and I entered into a Texas Holdem tournament that our friend Ian the Lifeguard, the Lifeguard Ian told us about. It was $25 entry fee. We played for quite a few hours and I ended up in 4th place, over all. I got $45 for that, so I was pretty damn happy with that.
Anyways, that's it for now!
shizon
Posted at Tuesday, August 31, 2004 by shizon
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Monday, August 09, 2004
Well, another KEMF is over, but the memories had by all party-goers in attendance will no doubt last a life time... that is, if they weren't too drunk to remember anything that happened. The weather was perfect and the day was young... so I made a bong out of a watermelon. Sharon squished all the juice out of the melon innards while I carved that bastard up like a Valentine's Day pumpkin. We used all the juice (or melon blood, as I like to refer to it) as the liquid agent charged with the responsibility of cooling down the smoke, and of course there was a solid amount of duct tape holding the whole thing together... but it damn-well worked! It bubbled nicely, and even left a sweet, melony aftertaste! Delicious!
When a good amount of people showed up, we started in with some hackey sac and volleyball action.. which is always a good time. My entire body still aches two days after, but all that ache does is prove that KEMF loves me as much as I love it. Make no mistake, KEMF loves us all so much and so hard that we end up all dirty, stinky and sore... and forever wanting more.
Much beer was being consumed and the dark sky was creeping in, so we got the fire going and started burning plastic just to hear the "zippy-zip" noises it makes as the dripping plastic falls down back into the fire. That was fun. So was taking pictures of Adam, Greg, Brad and myself jumping over the fire like a bunch of idiots. Don't worry, no one caught on fire... yet...
After that, we had a ferocious marshmallow fight. I won...
When that was all over, we were getting a little restless, and it was pitch black out, so we thought it was high time for "Midnight Volleyball". A little on the dangerous side, but intriguing nonetheless. Byron thought he'd help out by shining his bright-ass flashlight at the ball as it flew through the air. Turns out Byron wasn't really helping out at all. I think he was probably "saying" that he was tracing the ball with the flashlight, but really he was just waiting to see where the ball was headed so he could blind the shit out of the unsuspecting receipiant... but don't tell him I said that. That game died out rather quickly.
Sheila and I topped off the evening by accidentally falling asleep in Adam and Trish's tent, forcing them to drive into Strathroy and find somewhere else to crash. Actually, it was their fault for not waking our punk-asses up! We ended up waking up in the middle of the night all confused as to our whereabouts. I had a look around and everyone was gone, so we just went and crashed in our own tent.
All in all, it was one of the best KEMF's I've ever attended (sorry to all those that couldn't make it out - I'm not trying to rub it in). I'm sure the next one will be just as good, if not better! I wonder if Mike will get off his lazy ass and build us that beach volleyball court he's been promising...
shizon
Posted at Monday, August 09, 2004 by shizon
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Thursday, August 05, 2004
So I saw some movies this week. First, Sheila and I watched Spiderman 2 at Silver City, then we just snuck straight into The Village, which was starting 20 minutes later. Spiderman 2 was, dare I say, rad. I thought it was terrific. Better than the first one, even. The only problem I had with it was the part when those 3 unsupervised kids kept talking really loudly all throughout the movie. After multiple shhh's from a varity of other people, I had to physically get up and walk over to where they were sitting so I could tell them to shut their pie-holes. Actually it was more like, "Can I get you guys to shut the hell up, please 'n thanks". It was quite humourous actually, because for the rest of the movie the apparent slow one of the group kept talking as normal, and the original loud one was this time shhh'ing him!
Losers.
So then we went into The Village. We had 20 or so minutes to wait, and we were getting kinda thirsty and hungry, but didn't want to leave the theatre for fear that we wouldn't be able to sneak back in... so we called Andrew. We figured he'd want to see the movie, and also figured that he would be kind enough to stop and grab us a snack on his way in. He accepted the invitation, but we forgot to ask him about the snack part.
Losers.
Anyways, Andrew showed up and we watch the movie. I thought it was... good and bad. (Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil). I was intrigued all throughout the movie and enjoyed watching it, it's just when everything finally unfolds at the end... I'm just not so sure I liked the ending. Maybe I have to watch it again. There was one part that annoyed me, though. It was the part were those stupid teenagers behind us wouldn't shut the hell up. I'm not joking, either. I didn't say anything to them this time, because they were quite literally right behind us, all along that row, so if I did say anything, I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the movie anymore. I would be sitting there waiting for a large soft drink to be poured over my head or something.
Losers.
Tonight we went to see The Bourne Supremacy. No inconsiderate assheads in this theatre... at least not near us, anyways. The movie was really good, in my opinion. I really liked the first one, and the second one is just as good. Maybe even better, I don't know... I haven't seen the first one in a long while. Really cool car chase scene, too. Me like the smashie smashie!
We haven't seen the Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy yet, but plan to. I heard it was funny. I'll let you know what I think of it.
shizon
Posted at Thursday, August 05, 2004 by shizon
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